I am not done with Subway. Of course not. Thanks to me waiting so long to try the Fritos Chicken Enchilada, Subway rolled out their take on a pizza, called a Flatizza (because flatbread + pizza = Flatizza, get it?!?!?!). Pizza is a tricky thing for fast food chains. Burger King sells a Pizza Whopper at one of its stores, and McDonald’s tried (and failed) to introduce pizza a few decades ago, but it’s difficult to pull off because you really need to have an oven to make it and it needs time. Paying a fast food chain to microwave a pizza just feels too lazy. Subway has the ovens (and microwaves) to do this. But I’ll admit I was skeptical before I tried it.

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Subway’s initial promotion for Flatizzas is two for $5, which makes sense because these aren’t very big. Think of them as being around the size of a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza, but less substantial because the crust is a flatbread. Because I was also eating a 6 inch Enchilada during this lunch, I opted for a single Flatizza, which was priced at $3.50. Given the option because one of these at $3.50 or two for $5, it makes more sense just to get two. One would be fine as a snack, but the price is slightly prohibitive when you can get a burger somewhere else for half the price. Subway rolled out four different varities: Cheese, Pepperoni, Spicy Italian, and Veggie. I went with the Spicy Italian.

This actually looks like it might be good

This actually looks like it might be good

First bite

First bite

Subway says the Spicy Italian Flatizza is “our super crispy flatbread… topped with our marinara sauce, melty mozzarella cheese, flavorful pepperoni and genoa salami.” After they made it, they asked if I wanted any toppings on it, which caught me off guard. I wound up getting some oregano on top, but I declined their offer of grated cheese. I’d have loved some crushed red pepper, but forgot to ask for it. The Flatizza is served in a mini pizza box, and it is small. My first thought was of the frozen Celeste pizzas. When I opened the box, it smelled like a good pizza. The oregano was a nice touch. Also, they do cut the pizza into four pieces.

Pizza guts

Pizza guts

Flatbread underbelly

Flatbread underbelly

My  first bite: this tastes exactly like a Celeste pizza. It was microwaved and the center did not have much crunch. I got a lot of cheese, but no hint of sauce or meat. When I tried the meat alone, it was really salty, but not terribly spicy. And I have to admit that I couldn’t tell the difference in taste between the pepperoni and salami. If they weren’t different shapes/colors, I wouldn’t have known this had two different meats. In addition, the meat was completely overshadowed by the cheese. This tasted so cheesy and it took over the whole experience. The cheese was fine, but I would have liked all the toppings to work together. As for the marinara, it was a little sweet and tart. I’m guessing it came from a jar. If you’ve had their meatball sub, then you know what the marinara tastes like.

Pepperoni?

Pepperoni?

Now as for the flatbread. The edge, which I guess we can call the “crust” actually was crispy, which helped break up the mushy texture of everything. I also liked the topping coverage, where Subway allowed for some space at the ends of the flatbread without any toppings so it was easier to hold. Other than that, it was a flatbread. It’s there to serve as a vessel for everything else and wasn’t particularly good and bad. It just did its job.

Toppings underneath the cheese

Toppings underneath the cheese

A huge problem here was that this was incredibly greasy. I found it increasingly difficult to type as I was eating (which I guess is not a problem most people will encounter, but still) because the grease was overwhelming. I don’t mind a greasy pizza, but considering the portion, the grease seemed disproportionate. Another issue was that the temperature of the Flatizza wasn’t hot. I will admit that this is likely my fault, since I ate the sandwich before the Flatizza, but it was in its box the whole time, so I’d think it should have retained some of its heat. Plus, if Subway wants you to order two of these, then the second shouldn’t be lukewarm when you go to eat it.

Grease

Grease

As I’m sure you can tell from the preceding 600+ words, I was not a fan. This tasted too much like a microwaved Celeste pizza. Even when I took bites piled with meat, I could still barely taste anything beyond salt. In addition, using flatbread as the base of a pizza and microwaving it does not allow the toppings to anchor to the bread, so they were falling off as I was taking bites. Bottom line: if you want pizza, do not go to Subway. Go to a pizza shop.

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